


In My Heart

by RenLuthor



Series: Nyssava [1]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, F/F, Nyssava - Freefom, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-01-21 10:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21298211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenLuthor/pseuds/RenLuthor
Summary: Nyssa has always had a hatred for the Sharpes after they killed her mother three years ago, and would never hesitate to take one of them down.That is, until Nyssa meets Ava Sharpe in a crowded bar and falls for her immediately. In a story of love, feud, hatred, and sacrifice, can the love story of Ava and Nyssa survive the family lines?
Relationships: Nyssa Raatko/Ava Sharpe, Nyssa al Ghul/Ava Sharpe
Series: Nyssava [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1535348
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

The lights of the highway fly past Nyssa’s eyes as she races her precious Camaro down the road, not paying attention to her speed. She hears Talia’s voice like a familiar babble in her ears but doesn’t decipher any of the words. All Nyssa can comprehend is the phrase in her mind that is playing like a broken record, the words appearing across her vision like a banner. _I messed up, I messed up, oh God above, how did I mess up? _

  
  
It had been a simple order, and Nyssa is sure as hell good at taking orders. Rip Sharpe is giving the Al Ghul family more trouble than he is worth so Ra’s Al Ghul, head of the “family business,” gave the command to take him out. It is a long time coming for the Sharpe; he had been threatening the Al Ghuls for ages and frankly everyone is fed up with his games. It is about time he is put in his place, and Nyssa is the mob’s best hitwoman. She is supposedly perfect for the job.

  
That is, she is supposed to be. But that all changed when she rolled up to the Sharpe mansion and was met by the entire family standing out front, guns locked and loaded. Somehow the news that the Al Ghuls were in town got to the family, and it was Five Sharpes to the two Al Ghuls. Outnumbered, the girls had no choice but to regroup and return to the family headquarters with clean hands, defeated, and Nyssa couldn’t deal with it. She never left a task unfinished, ever. She should’ve just gone for it, she should’ve-

  
“Nyssa, are you even listening to me at all?”  
Nyssa breaks out of her trance and flicks a quick glance over to her sister. Talia has one hand propped up against the car door and is giving her sister quite the glare.

  
“Sorry, Tal. I got distracted. What were you saying?”

  
Talia huffs and turns away to stare out the side window. “I was saying you shouldn’t beat yourself up over this. We weren’t expecting them to know; Dad will understand. And don’t say you’re not, because I see the guilt in your face.”

  
  
Nyssa grips the wheel tighter, knowing Talia is only saying empty words. There is a time when their father would have understood, would have told Nyssa that she had nothing to worry about and that she would “get it right next time,” but that man isn’t around anymore. Long gone is the father they knew and loved; only an angry shell of the man he once was exists in his place. Ever since the Al Ghuls lost their mother to a shooting three years ago, he hadn’t been the same since. When Amina died, so did Ra’s on the inside.

  
  
Nyssa cringes when she imagines the hell that is awaiting her at home when she tells Ra’s about the failed mission, that Rip is still alive in the world. It will be a war of hateful words, maybe some punches if Nyssa feels like defending herself today, and that would be if her father is feeling generous. The only thing that calms Nyssa is the city lights. The Starcity skyline gleams beautifully in the midnight sky, the stars an iridescent white against the blackness of the night. She smiles as she approaches the city, letting her anxieties fade for the drive in, the skyscrapers making her feel like an ant. And as she cruises her Camaro through the city streets, she forgets about the fight that is only minutes away at home.

  
Then, in a moment of spontaneity, Nyssa decides her fight with Ra’s can wait until morning. This city is too beautiful tonight, and she isn’t ready to leave the gorgeous downtown for the slums of her family home. Nyssa smiles as she swerves the car across three lanes of traffic, making a beeline for a nightclub that is bouncing with activity.

  
“Nyssa, what the hell?” Talia asks with a slight laugh as she takes in the street.

  
“Why don’t we live a little tonight, Tal?” Nyssa asks with a grin. “You really don’t get out enough for a twenty-something.”

  
  
“Dad is going to kill us, you know,” Talia says with a sigh, but doesn’t protest as she follows Nyssa out of the car and up the street.

  
  
The two sisters quickly flash their IDs at the bouncer as they walk into the building, the hypnotic music already reaching their ears from the doorway, and Nyssa’s eyes automatically widen when she takes the place in.

  
Bodies are everywhere, packing the tight space to a maximum. There is hardly any room to navigate through the crowd, and if you try it seems someone will just pull you into a dance without even asking. People are laughing with their drinks, grinding and dancing against one another sensually; there are bartenders slinging drinks down the counter to a group of scantily clad men and women, and smoke billows from the bar in a thick fog. It is oh so entrancing, and Nyssa can’t look away.

  
  
“Talia, are you seeing this?” Nyssa turns around, but her sister has already left her side. Talia is chatting up a blonde across the room, one who looks slightly familiar. Seeing Talia laugh at something the girl says already makes Nyssa think her little detour home is worth it. Talia hardly ever laughs anymore; she prefers to keep a tough exterior ,now that she is a hit woman like Nyssa, not letting any emotion show. But Nyssa knows with every kill, no matter how heinous the target, the carefree sister she loves slips farther and farther away.

  
  
Nyssa shakes her head, trying to dispel the dark mood that overtook her. She is here to have some fun, right? She fights her way through the packed bodies, ignoring the hands that are grabbing her as she walks. Her eyes are glued to the bar, her favorite drink calling her from behind the counter. Nyssa knows if she is going to be dealing with Ra’s in the near future, she would want to be drunk as hell.

  
She almost makes it to her beloved haven of stupor, but something catches her attention in the distance. Nyssa stops in the midst of the dancing bodies, not even caring that sweaty strangers are grinding her in all the wrong places. Because across the room Nyssa is suddenly mesmerized. Two bright blue eyes glow in the distance, framed by dark lashes.

  
  
And they are looking right at her


	2. Chapter 2

“C’mon, Avey! Drink a little! Have some fun!”

Ava looks up from the book she is reading to glare at her sister. Joss is lounging casually against the bar counter, taking slow drags from her cigarette. She blows a puff of smoke into the air as she turns towards her sister, giving her a small smirk.

“For the last time Jo,” Ava mutters, not looking up from her book, “I’m only here because you needed a sober driver. You go have fun; I will be around to drag your drunk ass home later.”

“And what fun is it getting drunk alone?” Joss whines while she flags down the bartender, ordering two shots of vodka for them. “Please, Avey? Just one drink the take the edge off is all I ask. For me?”

Ava sighs. If it would get Joss off her back, fine; she would do it. Reluctantly Ava takes the small shot glass off the counter and chugs it in one gulp. She noticeably winces as the alcohol slides down, stinging her throat and chest while she coughs.

“Are you happy?” Ava gets out between wheezes, shoving the empty glass back at her. “Will you please leave me alone now?”

“What has gotten you all broody?” Joss asks with a smirk. “I’m not being broody,” Ava spits back. “You’re just being horribly irritating. I almost wish I was back at the house with Rip right now.”

Joss leans away from Ava, a sarcastic smile plastered to her face. “Why, I’m simply offended! Really? I’m being so annoying that you would rather have Rip, the self-righteous prick’s company over mine?”

That breaks her. Ava laughs softly, her sour mood receding for a second. “Okay, fine. I guess I can’t resort to an insult that big,” she says with a grin, “but it is close!”

Joss laughs along with her sister. “Whatever,” she replies. “While you’re here reading a book, I’m going to find someone more interesting than you. Adios, sister.”  
And with that, Ava is alone as one can be in a crowded club.

With a sigh, she turns back to the book in her grip. It is a favorite of her, one she has read many times before. The Great Gatsby feels like a rock in her palm as she turns the pages, knowing she is once again nearing the ending she always hated. It happens every time, but Ava always hopes the ending will miraculously shift, that Gatsby would not end up dead in the water but would instead get the happy ending she always deserved. Of course that doesn’t happen, you can’t change the printed word, but Ava is always one for optimism.

When she finishes and Gatsby is once again dead as a doornail, Ava pushes the book aside and looks around the room. Something catches her attention across the room. Two sparks of bright browns in the distance, glimmering when the strobe lights reflect against them. She quickly realizes they are eyes, and they are attached to the most beautiful person Ava has ever lay a gaze on.

A woman that looks like a Greek goddess stands in the crowd, her brown gaze scanning the bar like it is Nirvana. Her shirt is pulled tight around her body, revealing her toned muscles, and a ragged leather jacket is slung around her shoulders. She walks like a woman who has purpose, someone who is confident in herself. It takes all Ava had not to drool and stare.

She takes all of the woman in with a dazed gaze, and doesn’t even realize those brown eyes are moving forward until they are feet away, moving in her direction.

She is flustered, that is to say the least; Ava’s family never lets her go out and see the world, so her social skills are “a bit rusty”. Ava’ father told her once that her captivity is for her own good, but she knows the real reason. She has never fit in with her family, the only Sharpe who can’t shoot a gun for her life, the only Sharpe who doesn’t have blood on her hands, the only Sharpe who prefers working for the college library instead of working for the family mob. That makes her different, and different equates to dangerous in the Sharpe household. Therefore she is held under strict orders. Only leaving the house for class and work, and never, ever is she to go out to bars and parties, are only a few of the many rules she has to follow. The only reason she is out tonight is because Joss snuck her out, and even that is a risk. Ava often thought that she is like Rapunzel in a tower, locked up and only let out for air.

She is so caught up in these thoughts that she doesn’t realize that the attractive woman from across the bar is now standing right in front of her, eyeing her with a wolfish grin.

“Hey there,” the woman says in a velvet voice that makes Ava jump from her seat.

“Ah…” Ava stutters, avoiding looking the woman directly in the eye. “Can I help you?”

The woman chuckles lightly and takes a seat next to Ava, grinning at her widely. “Yeah, you can help me. What is it going to take for you to let me buy you a drink tonight?”

Ava eyes the woman suspiciously, sure that this must be some type of mistake. She isn’t the type of woman most women, or men in this case, flock to in a crowded bar. She is the type of woman old ladies looked to for assistance, or whom children trusted when they were lost. She isn’t the type to be pursued by a gorgeous woman in a too-tight tank top, that is for sure.

She flounders about, not exactly sure how to respond to the question. “Are...are you flirting with me?” Ava hedges, already wanting to hit herself when the words come out. This woman must think she is socially inept or something, and she wouldn’t be too far off.

The woman cackles in a low tone, and Ava feels a shiver go through her body. “I don’t know, is it working? Can I buy you a beer or what?”

She didn’t get to answer though before the woman is flagging down the bartender, ordering two beers for them and a shot of tequila for herself. She watches as the bartender slings the alcohol down the counter, staring in awe as the woman catches both the beers in one hand and her shot glass in the other.

The woman turns to Ava and hands her the drink with a tepid smile. “Hope you like Budweiser.”

“Thank you…”

“-Nyssa,” the woman finishes. “Nyssa Al ghul.”

Ava freezes, the bottle of golden liquid suspended halfway to her lips. An Al ghul? Did the universe have something against her? Why is this beautiful woman an Al ghul and not a Palmer or a Heywood? Why is life so unfair?

“So, are you going to give me your name now or just leave me hanging?” Nyssa asks, popping the cap off of the beer bottle in one click. “Looks like you could use a little bit of social guidance, if you ask me.”

Ava blushes deeply, taking in those teasing green eyes. “My name is Ava…” she stalls, “…. Carver. Ava Carver.”

She looks at Nyssa with a nervous glance, hoping she doesn’t notice her hesitation about the fake name. She decides very quickly that the odds of seeing the Al ghul again are slim, and she really needs one night to not be Ava Sharpe, prisoner of the house. So what if she used a fake name for a night?

“Ava, huh?” Nyssa asks, that small smile never leaving her face. “Well Aves, that is quite the name you’ve got there. How did your parents come up with that one?”

Ava grins at the little nickname Nyssa has given her, already feeling more comfortable. She takes a swig of her drink before she answers, leaning back in her chair. “I wish I knew, but would you believe that my name isn’t the strangest in the family?”

“Well I find that hard to believe,” Nyssa smirks, “unless you have a sister name Uhura. Doesn’t get much weirder than that. I mean the girl can kick some major ass, but-“

“Wait wait wait,” Ava interrupts the Al ghul, a warm feeling rising in her. “Don’t tell me you like Star Trek?”

Nyssa leans closer, the smell of hard liquor on her breath. “I may be the biggest geek you’ve ever met, but don’t tell anyone. I also have an encyclopedic knowledge on Game of Thrones, but my sister would tease me so hard if she knew about that talent.”

That settles it. Ava feels a warm feeling bubbling up in her stomach, making her heart beat faster and her mind race. Ava told herself she would let Nyssa go after tonight, but she can’t walk away now. No, it is too late for that. She is already falling.


	3. Chapter 3

Nyssa isn’t going to lie, she is enjoying her time with Ava more than she anticipated. After she gets a few more beers in the woman she is happy to see Ava light up with expression, coming forward with details about her life and family. Ava even tells a story involving her sister and a very unfortunate rabbit that has Nyssa laughing loudly, getting a strange look from the bartender across the way. All in all, Nyssa is actually enjoying herself for the first time in…how many years? Nyssa can’t remember.

That is, she is enjoying herself until a very unwelcome face appears on the stage.

“Bitch,” Nyssa mutters, gripping her empty shot glass a little more tightly.

“What’s wrong?” Ava asks innocently, cracking open her third beer of the night.

Nyssa just shakes her head and points to the stage where they were about to start karaoke night. Of course Josslyn Sharpe has to be here, the one place Nyssa went to get away from her work. The woman is clearly drunk out of her mind, and is holding onto the mic stand for support. Seconds later the instrumental track to ‘One Night Only’ starts blasting through the club, and Nyssa’s ears are assaulted by Josslyn’s singing.

“Let’s just say I would rather be torn apart by lions than have to deal with that woman,” Nyssa replies, hearing the distaste in her tone.

Ava tilts her head and gives Nyssa a confused look, Nyssa feeling very embarrassed when she feels her heart speed up with the glance. “I’m assuming you two don’t get along then?”

Nyssa laughs harshly. “More like we hate each others guts more than anything else in this world, if that says anything.”

Ava is about to respond, but Josslyn’s falsetto is suddenly the loudest thing in the room. Nyssa cringes as she flags down the bartender once more, quickly retrieving a pen and napkin.

“Look, I wish I could stay around longer, but I will punch her if I do. But…” Nyssa hesitates, “I would love to see you again?”

The woman with the blue eyes glances up at her with a piercing stare. “You wish to see me again?”

Nyssa scribbles her phone number down on the napkin and places it in the other woman’s palm. “If you don’t mind, that is.”

Ava smiles down at the number in her hand and says very quietly “Yes Nyssa, I would love that very much.”

She looks up into Ava’ eyes and grins back with pure elation. “Then I’ll be looking forward to your call.”

With one last wave at the blue eyed angel that already has her heart racing, Nyssa leaves to find her sister.

“Talia!” Nyssa calls when she spots her sister across the way. She is leaning against the club wall with a pure look of distain on her face, her mouth curled into a tight lipped grimace.

“…Tal? What’s wrong?”

“Did I just see you talking with a Sharpe?” Talia asks calmly. She looks up at Nyssa with pure smoldering fire in her eyes, the rage clearly coming to surface.

“What the hell are you talking about, Tal?” Nyssa asks. “I was talking to that woman over there.”

She points out Ava across the way to her sister, who is reclining back casually in her chair. “Her name is Ava Carver, a student over at SCU. What’s wrong?”

“Nyssa,” Talia says sadly. “Ava Carver doesn’t exist, but Ava Sharpe does. And you are looking right at her.”

******

_A Sharpe? A freaking Sharpe? Why’d she have to be a Sharpe of all people?_

Nyssa can’t quiet the raging thoughts in her mind as she speeds through the city streets, ignoring any and all traffic lights and signs in her way. She is beyond livid. A fake name? That is the thing she would pull, not something a woman like Ava would ever do. It seemed off somehow. Is it all a ploy then? Is Ava working with the Sharpes? Is she supposed to lure Nyssa into her house, make her feel like she cared, only to throw her to the dogs? It makes her stomach turn just thinking about it, and she isn’t going to rest until she got some answers.

Over the course of the next few days, Nyssa does her research. Her confrontation with Rip goes better than ever expected, her father giving her a few days off to regroup before she sends Nyssa out again to finish the job. It is the most she could ask for from her father, and the extra time gives her opportunity to dig up dirt on that Ava.

That is, if there is anything to be found out about the Sharpe. After five days of nonstop research Nyssa is still no closer to knowing anything about the woman than she is before. It is like Ava is the Sharpe’s hidden weapon, kept under lock and key in their secret crypts. No birth dates, no personal records, no history to be found. Is is as if the woman Nyssa met at the bar is a total ghost.

Finally, Nyssa brings in the bigs guns and calls up the best hacker she knows, but even her efforts are wasted.

“I really don’t know what to say, Raatko,” Felicity says solemnly, after hours of illegal hacking. “Even I can’t find those who don’t wish to be found.”

She grunts and turns to the green letters and numbers glowing on her screen. “Are you really sure there is nothing? Nothing at all?”

“I’m telling you, it’s like she doesn’t even exist. However-“ she starts, hitting a few keys on the board, “-there is an article about a Jessica Sharpe working at the SCU Library. Employee of the year or something nerdy like that. Think this is your woman?”

Nyssa sighs heavily. It isn’t much of a lead, but it is all she has. And that is what lands her at that library on a cold November morning, stalking the stacks of books for any sign of Jessica or Ava, whatever the hell her real name is. She is unfruitful for hours on end and she is about to give up the search, until a familiar figure appears behind the circulation desk.

It is definitely Ava, that’s for sure. The woman she met at the bar is now standing behind a stack of books, staring at the names on the spines. She has a lanyard slung around her neck that says ‘Hi my name is: Jessica’ and is wearing a pair of black rimmed glasses that makes her blue eyes pop. And don’t get her started on that tight plaid shirt-

No, Nyssa won’t allow herself to still be attracted to this woman. She lied about her name, so what else did she lie about? And above all, she is a Sharpe. She couldn’t be this attracted to someone who is from enemy territory, could she?

But she doesn’t get to ponder this any longer before the woman sees her standing awkwardly in the stacks.

“…Nyssa?” Ava asks hesitantly, coming out from behind the desk to approach the wayward Nyssa. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same thing Ava Carver. Or is it Ava Sharpe? Or Jessica Sharpe?”

Ava cringes. “I worried you would figure that out, but I didn’t think it would matter.”

Nyssa huffs out a breath in annoyance. “Wouldn’t matter? Giving out a fake name is a pretty big deal, Ava!”

The other woman looks down at her shoes and mutters “…I didn’t think it is a big deal because I never planned on seeing you again.”

Ouch. Nyssa can’t hide how much that stung. So it is true then; Nyssa looked into things that were not there. It is fine though; she will get over it eventually. Nevermind that Ava is all she could think about for days. Forget that she hasn’t been attracted to anyone, man or woman, like this in ages and she was looking forward to exploring a real relationship again. Nyssa would totally ignore that sinking feeling in her stomach when she realizes she was just rejected by someone she could’ve cared about.

“Oh,” Nyssa says with a tight lipped grimace. “Well, I guess that settles it. Bye, Ava.”

Nyssa turns sullenly and starts walking towards the door, trying to compose herself. But she doesn’t get far before a hand lands on her shoulder and drags her back into the stacks.

“Nyssa, wait,” Ava whispers “You misunderstand me. I wanted nothing more than to call you and make plans to see you again, but I’m a Sharpe and you’re a Raatko. You know what would happen if our families ever found out about us?”

“Yeah, I know all hell would break loose. I’m not stupid. But,” Nyssa hesitates, eyeing the hand perched on her shoulder, “there is a part of me that just doesn’t care?”

Ava looks at Nyssa with a birdlike head tilt and perplexed expression. “I do not understand.”

“Look,” she says, motioning for Ava to follow her through the labyrinth of columns, “I’m just going to say it: I felt something back at that bar. I haven’t felt anything close to it in years. It was like I was coming alive for the first time in forever, and you brought it out in me. And maybe you didn’t feel a damn thing, but I sure did and I’m not about to let that go so easily.”

Nyssa huffs out a breath and stares at the titles of the books, the floor, anywhere but Ava. This definitely isn’t what she came here to do, but Nyssa knows now she can’t let Ava get away. Screw family feuds and warring words, she says.

After what feels like a hundred years, Ava finally speaks. “Nyssa…I barely know you. And you know our family situation. Risking everything for someone I’ve just met seems a bit foolish, don’t you think? If we knew one another better-”

Nyssa spins around, looking the other woman in the eye and cutting off her sentence. “-Fine. I see your point. But answer me this: do you feel anything at all? If circumstances were different, would you pursue this?”

“In a heartbeat,” Ava says, the quickness of the response throwing Nyssa offguard. “I don’t know how to say this,” Ava begins, a light blush rising to her cheeks, “but I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night, and knowing that I couldn’t talk to you made me ache. I don’t know what it is, but you’ve lit something in me, Nyssa Raatko. Something fiery and tangible and real, and I’m afraid to let it go.”

Nyssa takes a few seconds to stare at Ava, because nobody has ever says anything quite so authentic to her well…ever. Suddenly all Nyssa sees is Ava leaning against the book shelve, her blue eyes drawing Nyssa in like an ocean does its tide. Ava says that Nyssa lit a fire in her, something real. She feels the same way about Ava, that much is obvious now. But what? What is it that draws Nyssa to this woman? What is it about Ava-Jessica-whatever the hell her name is- that has enraptured Nyssa’s attention so fully?

“So why are we arguing about this then?” Nyssa whispers. “I like you, you like me, so why aren’t we giving this thing a shot? For the sake of a feud that isn’t even ours to fight? Do you even know why our families hate each other in the first place, because I sure as hell don’t.”

Ava runs a hand nervously through her hair, avoiding Nyssa’s gaze. “I guess I don’t either, but that doesn’t change anything. Surely you were told about the last time something like this happened between our families.”

Nyssa cringes at the story. Of course she knew. It is a cautionary tale for the ages, how one Kara Sharpe fell madly in love with a woman named Lena Raatko, the two of them thinking they could get around the family feud. Nobody really knows the details, but in the end they both ended up in a family crossfire shooting when they tried to run away together and both ended up dead. The moral of the story is very clear: Sharpes would not love Raatkos if they wanted to stay alive.

“…You can see why I’m hesitant, even though I am willing.”

Nyssa racks her brain, trying to think of a way to bridge the gap of distrust between herself and this woman. All she can come up with is that old children's game of twenty questions, but who is to say that won’t work? “Okay then. How about this,” Nyssa hedges, eyeing Ava with a glint in her stare. “Twenty questions. You can ask anything you wish, and I can do the same. If we both feel like this is something we want at the end of the game, we go through with it and see each other again. If not, we go our separate ways and I won’t stop ya.”

Ava smiles a little at that and then reluctantly takes Nyssa’s arm, leading her into a secluded part of the library. “Okay, sounds fair enough. I just got off my shift anyway. You start.”

Nyssa follows Ava over to a small table in the back of the library, where the only sound is the quiet thrumming of the heater. She has to admit, she is never one for libraries or reading for fun - besides her Vonnegut of course - but this is a quaint little place she could get used to if it meant she could be with Ava.

“Fine,” Nyssa says. “First question. Can you please tell me your real name?”

Ava laughs quietly while she lifts her lanyard over her head. “My real name is Ava Jessica Sharpe. I’ve gone by Jess in all of my classes since I was so tired of hearing professors taking hacks at the name ‘Ava’. Do you know how tiring it is to have your name mispronounced on a daily basis?”

“No, I can’t imagine that. Nyssa is a pretty straightforward name in my book. Your turn.”

Ava thumbs the lanyard in her hand absentmindedly, looking up at Nyssa with that blue stare. “Why did you take an interest in me back at that bar? I saw the others you were around, those who are probably much more experienced and good looking than me. Why pick the nerdy woman reading in a bar?”

Nyssa leans on one hand as she thinks about that question. Why did she go to Ava in that bar? Is it only for those eyes that mesmerized her across the way, or is it for that stupid little smile she had on her face when she is reading? Is it the way she looked in that barstool, so out of place it is almost comical, or is it the way she looked so sure of herself?

“I guess it is just fate,” Nyssa says simply, eyeing Ava with a smirk. “You were just too damn gorgeous to resist I guess.”

She grins widely when she finds Ava blushing furiously at those words, turning her head away to hide the redness in her cheeks. As if Nyssa needed another reason to be enraptured with this Sharpe: along with being studious and gorgeous, she is also freaking adorable. It isn’t fair in Nyssa’s book that one person could be so full of perfection.

“Next question,” Nyssa says. “Why a library? Out of all the places to work, why choose a place with nothing but old books?”

“Well, as a literature major I’m a bit offended by that, Ms. Raatko,” Ava says with fake vice in her voice. “I chose the library because it is an escape from my family life. Books are like people to me; each one has their own story to tell. Some of them are popular, their tales famously known to the world and well liked, while others are hidden gems lost in the stacks, waiting to be found. People are the same way if you think about it; some withered and wise, but are forgotten about throughout the years, while others are new and bright, always getting attention laid on them. And…” Ava hesitates “I guess I just always found a beauty in that.”

“Well then,” Nyssa asks with a smirk, “What kind of book would I be like, Ava?”

“Ah, but it’s not your turn to ask the questions, Nyssa,” she replies back with a cheeky grin.

They continue like that for a long while, a game of twenty questions easily becoming thirty, then forty, until hours have passed with words flying back and forth without interruption. Nyssa is absolutely fascinated with Ava’s world, thanking the high heavens that very little of it has to do with has mobster family. She learns all the little details about Ava’ life in those short hours they spend together, like how Ava is in her final year of college and hopes to attend graduate school, or how Ava wants a cat but her family would never let her get one, or how Ava is a classically trained pianist and spent two years of high school at Metropolis. She feels like she knows more about Ava than she does some people in her own family, and Nyssa is absolutely enraptured with the woman.

She doesn’t even notice the time passing until Ava breaks off from telling a rather humorous tale about Rip and an unfortunate mishap with a police dog, the blood rushing from her face when she notices the time.

“Is it really 6:30?” Ava asks frantically, scrabbling around the desk for her bag.

Nyssa looks up at her with a concerned glance. “Yeah, why? What’s wrong?”

Ava looks like a ghost, the color completely drained from her face. “My father told me to be home an hour ago and he gets…testy when I disobey his orders,” Ava says.

Nyssa can’t help but get a sinking feeling in her stomach. Ava is simply frantic, her hands shaking and eyes shifting back and forth wildly. She reaches over to help Ava put her name tag in the open bag, and hears her heart drop when Ava cringes away from her presence.

She can’t just let Ava go home in this state.

“Hey, do you need me to drive you home or something? You look pretty stressed.”

Ava just nods her head, avoiding Nyssa’s heavy gaze. “No, it’s fine really. I’m sure I can find a bus home or something, and I think it wouldn’t help my…situation if anyone from my family saw us together.”

But Nyssa isn’t taking this lying down. “Look, as your friend I can’t let you drive home this way. What is that saying again? Friends don’t let other woman drive…alone?”

She softens up a bit when Ava laughs, seeming to calm down some. “I think the saying you’re looking for is ‘Friends don’t let friends drive drunk,’ which I’m clearly not. Trust me, I sort of wish I was considering what I’m going home to.”

“And what is that exactly?”

Ava sighs heavily, giving Nyssa one of those deep stares of her. “Look Nyssa, you’re a nice woman and I’m glad you consider me a friend, but you don’t want to get into the depths of my family life. At least not right now.”

Nyssa can’t help but smile a bit. “Does that mean there is going to be a later?”

Ava grins back. “Maybe. Possibly. We’ll see. But until then,” Ava says, fishing around her bag, “I would like to see you again. My family is having a ball this Friday, and I would love for you to be my…date,” she trials off, blushing furiously at the words. Ava quickly hands Nyssa a small invitation with the date and time of the event on it, not looking her in the eye.

…Date? Ava wants her to enter her house and be her date? After all of this talk about not being seen together? Nyssa can’t help but wonder what runs through that woman’s head sometimes.

“You realize that if I show up at your house you’re family will shoot me on the spot?”

Ava softly laughs at that. “Read the invitation, dumbo. It’s a masquerade ball, which means if you wear a good enough mask then my family shouldn’t be able to recognize you at all. So if you get shot at this party, I’m not the one liable here.”

Nyssa doesn’t know how to respond to the request. Should be risk it? She isn’t going to lie, dressing up is one of her favorite activities, plus the added danger of being a James Bond figure in Sharpe territory? The opportunity is tempting, perhaps too tempting for Nyssa Raatko to resist.

“Okay then,” she says. “You’ve got yourself a date.”

Ava lights up automatically, the earlier panic gone from her features. “Well, I guess I will see you then, Raatko.”

“You better count on it, Sharpe!” Nyssa calls as Ava walks away.

And when Ava is out of sight, Nyssa can’t help herself. She’s got a date with Ava Sharpe, and that is enough to make her smile.


	4. Chapter 4

_Why did I invite her again? Oh yeah, because I'm an idiot._ Ava wanders her room anxiously, fidgeting with the fringe of her shirt. Her heart is pounding, her hands are sweating, and she is all together a wreck. Nyssa Raatko is going to be at her home in less than an hour, and Ava has absolutely no idea what to do. The sprout of confidence that encouraged her to ask Nyssa out at the library is long gone, replaced by fear and ultimate confusion. What if she did something wrong? What is her family finds out Nyssa is here? Or the worst, what if Nyssa decides Ava isn't worth the risk and doesn't show up at all? All of it make Ava' hands shake.

"Ava? Whatever are you doing, sister?"

She jumps in surprise as Rip appears behind her, a light hand landing on her shoulder. Ava turns around reluctantly, trying to hide the tremors that are rocking her body. Her brother is already dressed like a prince, doused in a black suit with a snakeskin mask on her face, and the smile he gives is absolutely mischievous.

"Would you care to knock?" Ava says broodingly, giving Rip a small glare.

"Oh Ava, always so touchy," Rip says with a small laugh. "But that is besides the point. What has got you so jumpy?"

Ava avoids Rip's gaze and turns back to the closet, fishing through the racks. "Oh, nothing in particular. Just…get a little nervous at social events. It is not like father lets me see people often, you know."

"Hush now. You know quite well why father has you under a tight leash. Maybe if you were better behaved, he would loosen the reigns."

"Must you always talk to me like I'm an animal? I'm a human being, you know."

Rip looks onto his sister with a quiet stare, one that holds ultimate pity. "You know he is still angry about your disobedience, Ava. He won't forgive that lightly. Unless you go back and change your mistakes."

Ava scoffs. "I would rather be chained up here for eternity than change my actions, Rip. My disobedience is not killing in cold blood, and I would hardly call that a mistake."

Rip sighs slowly and pushes Ava' hands aside, throwing suits and ties left and right on the floor. "I've always admired your moral code, Ava, even if father cannot see it. But that is besides the point now; the real question is what are you wearing tonight? Everything in here is second rate at best, and this is a high class affair. Don't you have anything decent at all?"

Ava ignores her brother's jibe and grabs at the garments that are being thrown her direction. She can't help but laugh; everything Rip is suggesting she wear is absolutely hideous, even suggesting a velvet suit her father gave her for her fifteenth birthday.

"Are you serious right now?" Ava asks. "I'm a twenty-four year old ; I'm pretty sure I can pick out clothes."

"I'm sure you can Ava, but you know how picky father is when it comes to these events. I'm pretty sure that Batman t-shirt you have on isn't going to cut it."

Ava is about to respond, but her brother emerges with something that Ava has to admit isn't all that horrible. A simple navy suit with a tie, and he even pulls out that old abandoned trench coat Ava forgot she owned. All in all, not horrible at all.

"Okay, I guess that will do," Ava says tiredly, trying to push Rip out of her room. "Now can you please let me be?"

Her brother laughs lightly as he makes his exit. "Whatever you say. Oh and by the way," he says with a smirk, "whatever guy you're trying to impress, your nerves are utterly obvious. Better work on that."

"…There is no guy!" Ava calls after her brother, but Rip is already long gone.

After she gets dressed and steals a masquerade mask from Joss, Ava descends the stairs into their grand foyer, the hype of the entire ball. She looks from above at the mass amounts of people in their black tie attire, men in clean cut coats and women with three inch heels on their feet. Her father has really outdone herself this time; the room is decked in crystals and golden leaf garlands line the banisters; pumpkin scented candles line the counters and there are butlers scurrying about in ridiculous dress, attired in golden suits that gleam against the bright light of the chandler overhead. The extravagance of her father's parties always made Ava want to gag, but this one takes the cake for nausea-inducing surplus. There is even a damn life sized cornucopia in the middle of the room to celebrate the Thanksgiving season. _Really now, Father?_

"A cornucopia? Are we in The Hunger Games or something?"

Ava spins around to find Nyssa standing above her, a small smirk on her lips. She looks like James Bond herself, dressed in a tight black suit that accentuates her..assets. She also has a velvet black mask on her face. Ava is absolutely flustered, just like she was back at the bar when they first met. Goodness, is there anything Nyssa Raatko can't pull off?

"Well uh…," Ava stammers, "you…clean up well."

Nyssa rolls her eyes. "I clean up well? I'm risking my life by being here and your only compliment for me is that I clean up well? We really need to work on your dating game."

"And you're being a little overdramatic with the whole 'risking your life' thing don't you think? I think we need to get you a dictionary."

"Whatever you say," Nyssa says sarcastically, grabbing Ava' arm while pulling her down the stairs into the throng of people. "Now tell me Sharpe, who am I avoiding tonight? I'm sure Tal wouldn't be too pleased to find my body on our front porch after this is all over."

Ava knows she should laugh at this, but she simply cannot. Entertaining the possibility of Nyssa dead is already too much for her to bear, and she hardly knows the woman. "Don't joke about that, Nyssa. You know it's a real possibility if we ever get caught together."

Nyssa huffs out a breath. "Geez, Ava. Just trying to lighten you up. You seem so tense."

Nyssa isn't wrong; Ava has been worrying about this party for days, and now that Nyssa is standing by her side, in her own house, surrounded by very trained mobster assassins, she is anything but calm. She knows Rip always keeps a shotgun on his person, and her cousin Gary a pocket knife dipped in deadly poison. Nyssa could easily end up dead by the time the night is done if she isn't careful.

"Sorry," Ava apologizes, guiding Nyssa into a discreet corner of the room. "I just know my family and their intolerance for Raatkos. But if you want to stay alive, you will want to avoid that group right over there."

She points to the opposite corner of the room where her family is located, all lounging about with glasses of expensive wine in their hands. Everyone is there; Joss with a ridiculous feather boa around her shoulders to match her outrageous pink mask, Rip in his dapper suit, even her cousins Gary and Mona are laughing along with the group, dressed in matching silver attire. This part of her family never fails to impress at these events.

However Ava can't help but scowl at them; they look totally at ease, just like they were only an aristocratic family and not a group of felons. All of the blood on her family's name, all the people who are no longer on this earth because of their acts, the whole ordeal makes Ava sick.

"Wowza. Wouldn't take that group for a band of high class mobsters," Nyssa says, eyeing the group with undisguised grimace in her glance.

Ava rolls her eyes. "Well what were you expecting? That we would all be dressed like we were in a Godfather film and speak with ridiculous accents?"

Nyssa just laughs, guiding Ava away from the corner. "No, its just interesting to see the other half of the mob world. When I think of this life I think of gangly, dirty low lives like my family, not high society like yours. I feel so out of place."

"Well then," Ava says quietly, "welcome to my world."

Nyssa just shakes her head lightly and expertly pulls Ava away from the crowd, sidestepping aristocrats and royals, mobsters and their thugs. She can't help but notice that it is impossible to tell anyone apart, and that for one night the low lives can live with the high lives in perfect harmony. It is strangely poetic, in a way.

She doesn't realize she's outside until the cold hits her face, the classic violin tunes fading into the distance as they walk. Nyssa is silent as she cautiously intertwines her fingers with Ava', shooting her an uncertain glance for approval. Ava only grabs her palm tighter in response.

"So what's it like, being a Sharpe? This is some pretty high society stuff you've got going on here," Nyssa asks, a bit of bite in her voice.

"Nothing special, really. I hate it most of the time," Ava replies quietly, her voice coming out shaky. She is very aware that Nyssa's hand is still wrapped around her, her palm growing clammy from the cold. "Father always invites these aristocrats over and asks us to pull the 'healthy, happy family' routine, but we're so dysfunctional I'm surprised people haven't seen through our ruse yet."

"I'm sorry it's that way for you, but my family isn't much better. If I didn't have Talia, I would've been long gone by now," Nyssa says, leading Ava over to a bench on the pathway. She brushes off the lightly dusted snow before she sits, her hand still clamped around Ava'. She knows it should be awkward, they hardly know each other after all, but it is strangely…calming? The warmth radiating from Nyssa is making Ava forget that there are trained killers just feet away from her.

"May I ask why?" Ava asks as they sit.

Nyssa probably doesn't notice, but Ava feels Nyssa's grip get more tense as she thinks it over, obviously trying to devise up the right words to say.

"It's a long story, but my mom died in a crossfire shooting about three years ago, against your family nonetheless," Nyssa beings, and Ava can already feel herself cringing. Why did all the pain stem from her family?

"My dad…he never truly…recovered," Nyssa stammers, her eyes darting back and forth between Ava and the ground. "Became a drunk first, a drug addict second, and then took over the family mob from my grandfather about a year or so ago. She's been on a rage against your family ever since and automatically put Talia and I to work as hit women. We didn't get a say, only got a gun slammed into our hands and were told to do our duty. I didn't question it, naturally. I wish now I would've."

Ava doesn't realize she's rubbing small circles into the back of Nyssa's hand until she gets a strange look from the other woman. "Sorry," Ava apologizes quickly, ducking her head to hide the redness in her cheeks. "My mother used to do that when I was a child to comfort me. Back before…she left us."

She doesn't know why she says it. Ava has never been open about her mother's departure, one without any explanation at that. One day she was here and the next she was gone, like a cloud in the sky. She always wondered where she went, what she was doing now. She wanted to know if she found a new family, a wife who would actually hold her close and treat her right, not use her for a power play like her father did. She wondered if she had more kids, half sisters and sisters she would never know. And Ava couldn't help but get a nostalgic feeling in her gut when she thought of her, always having that deep and forbidden desire that she would return to them, even if that thought is childish and improbable.

Nyssa huffs out a short laugh. "Well then, look at us. Both misfit pieces in a puzzle where we don't belong."

And suddenly, Nyssa's arms are around Ava, bringing her close to her body. At first Ava is shocked; nobody has ever really hugged her since her mom left, but soon a feeling of warmth rises in her stomach, making it flip in tiny circles. A smile glows on Ava' face, and she snuggles in closer to Nyssa without thinking about it.

"Yeah," she says with a grin, "I guess we are."

They stay like that for God knows how long; Nyssa tells Ava stories about her family, growing up learning how to kill instead of how to play, how to shoot a gun instead of how to swing a bat, how to fight with real swords instead of foam ones. She learns that Nyssa got her first gun at the age of seven, was going to target practice by the age of eight, and got into her first major fight when she was twelve against a boy twice her size who was bullying a friend. She smiles when Nyssa talks about her sister, her cold tone she used for her family earlier instantly melting away when she mentions "her Tal" and the stories that go with her.

Even though they grew up in the worse environment possible (Ava cringes when Nyssa tells one story about how her and Talia once tried to run away and were locked up in their rooms for two weeks, only being fed bread and water like dogs), they still managed to have somewhat of a childhood.

Nyssa is telling a very hilarious tale involving Talia and a date gone wrong when footsteps echo down the path.

"Ava? You out here sister? Show yourself, you loser!"

Ava tenses, untangling herself from Nyssa's arms quickly.

"Hide!" Ava whispers harshly, pushing Nyssa away from the bench and behind the nearest line of bushes just as Joss stumbles into view, clearly drunk. She also can't help but notice that her sister is lacking some essential clothing items, like a shirt…or pants, for that matter…

"Ah, it's mah favorite sister!" Joss slurs, a half drunken bottle of champagne in her hand. "I've been lookin' for ya alllll night."

"What are you doing out here, Jo?" Ava says harshly, trying to hide hrt clear fear. "Isn't it a bit cold for your attire…or lack thereof."

"Ah yah know, those stuck up floozies don't know how to have fun! Our lovely sister kindly suggested I take a walk-" she pauses, glancing down at the bottle in her hand-"and somehow my alcohol disappeared. Any idea how that happened?"

Ava just sighs, guiding her sister back down the path. "Well you're going to freeze, so let's get you back inside and have someone find you some clothes."

She watches as her sister stumbles off, just waving her hand sluggishly. "Thanks sissy. I owe you one!"

"Ugh, she really is obnoxious isn't she?" Once again Ava jumps as warm arms wrap around her waist, and once again she blushes when Nyssa leans close, her lips against her ear. "Ruining our perfectly good conversation like that."

Ava shivers, turning around so she is inches from Nyssa's face, the palatable tension rolling off her body in waves. She hasn't figured out why yet, but everything is heightened when she's around Nyssa. Sensory feelings, emotions, thought, everything feels like it is attached to a live wire that slaps her in the face with tangible energy, making Ava feel alive for the first time in her life. Funny how she has known Nyssa only a short week and she already feels like they are slowly becoming one, their energies combining into one unit.

"So it looks like it will be my time to bow out soon," Nyssa says with a hint of sadness in her voice. "I told Tal I was scouting out a job and she will worry you guys got me if I'm not home soon. But," she pauses, unlocking her arms from around Ava to grab her hand again, "Any chance I can have a dance before I go?"

She doesn't even respond, just grabs Nyssa's other hand and brings it to rest on her shoulder, guiding the other to her waist. The violin music from the party drifts from the open doors, Ava and Nyssa clearly hidden away from prying eyes. And as the tune slows to a waltz, the two of them sway along with the song, Ava' head resting easily against Nyssa's shoulder, hands placed around her waist. It is like they are suspended in time, and it is only the two of them in the world, the rest fading away until it is but a glimmer in the distance. Ava realizes quite quickly she doesn't want this to end; the Raatko has become a part of her life now, and she's accepted it.

"So, when will I see you again?" Ava whispers into Nyssa's shoulder.

"Is tomorrow too soon?" Nyssa whispers back, her lips dangerously close to Ava' ear again.

"Never too soon," Ava mutters, just swaying along with the luxurious tune. "Meet me at the library around one-ish?"

Ava feels Nyssa's light breathing humming through the air. "It's a date."

The song ends, too soon in Ava's opinion, fading into a more upbeat tune. Nyssa disentangles herself from Ava' arms and leans back on her heels, staring around the garden with a slightly fretful glance.

"I guess that is my cue to leave," Nyssa says with reluctance in her voice. "But before I go…"

Ava could never have predicted what comes next. One minute she is standing feet away from the Raatko, and then the next she is centimeters away, her hand coming up to capture Ava' face.

Then there is fire. Burning, consuming, brilliant fire. Nyssa's lips find her easily, soft and warm in the cold night. The smoldering that fills Ava' body is tangible. Her lungs spring to life in a gasp, catching the other woman's lips back. Nyssa's free hand comes up to grab the other side of Ava' face, pushing the two of them together closer. Ava immediately responds back, bringing her hand around Nyssa's back to make their connection complete.

Everything is Nyssa in that moment, at least in Ava' mind. She doesn't worry about if people will come out and see them, she doesn't care about anything other than the flushed cheek that is springing to life under her hand, how Nyssa is breathing into her mouth for tiny gasps for air. She doesn't give a damn if Rip comes out and shoots them both dead right then; dying in Nyssa's arms would be the greatest death she could come by. She doesn't care about anything other than a beautiful woman whom she may love is kissing her fiercely, unashamedly, entrapping Ava' lower lip between her teeth. It takes all of Ava' strength not to moan.

And yet all too soon, the fiery kiss turns into a light smolder. Ava and Nyssa are both breathless, leaning against the other for support. Ava has only been kissed a few other times before in her life, and none of them were like this.

Ava opens her mouth to say something, but Nyssa puts a finger to her lips. The look she gives Ava is quite endearing, making the Sharpe blush uneasily.

"Well, I will see you tomorrow then," Nyssa whispers, leaving one last gentle kiss on her lips before she wanders out of the gate, leaving Ava behind.


End file.
